'Wild Hogs'
(Tim Allen, Martin Lawrence, John Travolta, Ray Liotta, William H. Macy, Marisa Tomei, et al / PG-13 / 86 mins / Sony Pictures)
Overview: To get over his mid-life crisis, Tim Allen convinces some of his fellow bored suburban husbands to form a rough-and-tumble motorcycle gang. However, their masculine posturing is challenged when they cross a real gang called the Del Fuegos.
Verdict: I believe in punishment for evil deeds in the afterlife. Call it Hell or Purgatory or the Void or whatever you want, but I'm all for it. And I think they've got themselves something new to play on a continuous loop at their Eternal Damnation 24-screen multiplex. To call this movie not funny is to insult other not-funny movies. Did I recently say 'Norbit' was worthless? I take it all back. 'Wild Hogs' is so relentlessly stupid and bland and vile that I actually found myself wanting to take a big knife and start slashing the theater seats to ribbons! I hear that there's a big meteorite headed to Earth, and it's supposed to hit us sometime in the 2030s and destroy all life on the planet. So what I want them to do is to take this movie and put it in a missile and shoot it up to that rock and blow them both up. There. It felt good to get that off my chest. Avoid splashing your cash on this waste-of-life movie!!
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