'The Return'
(Sarah Michelle Gellar, Peter O'Brien, Sam Shepard, Kate Beahan, et al / R / 87 mins / Sony Pictures)
Overview: Joanna (Sarah Michelle Gellar) has made a career for herself as sales rep for a trucking company. But her private life has been difficult; estranged from her father (Sam Shepard), stalked by an obsessed ex (Adam Scott) and with few friends, Joanna fears she is losing her mind. She keeps seeing visions of the brutal murder of a stranger by a man who appears to be making Joanna his next target.
Verdict: Help! I'm being haunted by supernatural visions! Also! There's this guy! I think he used to be my boyfriend and he keeps trying to beat me up! And I cut myself! Who knows why! And some DJ keeps going scratchy-scratch-scratch with Patsy Cline's "Crazy"! Aaauuuuugghhh! My radio won't turn off! There's a kid from The Grudge in my back seat! Boo! Now I'm running into a spooky barn! OMG! It's empty! The barn is empty! But spooky! With zero scares this freakin' movie is SO ludicrous!!