'Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning'
(Jordana Brewster, Cyia Batten, Andrew Bryniarski, Diora Baird, et al / R / 87 mins / New Line)
Overview: Oh, so that's how Leatherface became a murderous psycho! Jordana Brewster and a bunch of other young hot people star in this prequel to the classic horror series.
Verdict: There's not a single moment of this movie that any self-respecting horror fan hasn't seen before. And it's not scary. But in the absence of originality and fear, there's always my favorite fallback quality: gore. And you get a couple buckets of it. When is watching someone's face being cut off not entertaining? That would be never. Basically, this is an uninspired rehash of its immediate precursor that's been stitched together with cheaper materials. There just isn't a lot of mystery here and the overall tone is less punishing than you'd expect!