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Movie Reviews
'Rocky Balboa'
(Sylvester Stallone, Antonio Tarver, Burt Young, Milo Ventimiglia, et al / PG / 84 mins / Sony Pictures)

Overview: Sylvester Stallone returns for a sixth time as Rocky Balboa, the tough-as-nails Philadelphia boxing champ. Only now Rocky is old, really old. In this installment of the sports saga, the 54-year-old Balboa is lured out of retirement for one final fight when a computer simulation claims he could beat the current champ, Mason "the Line" Dixon (Antonio Tarver).

Verdict: Sixty-year-old Rocky Balboa gets back into the ring and … huh? Yes, 60. It's not a typo. It's what happens in this movie. Yes, I know it's a dumb idea; I didn't make the movie! Clairol for Men must have stepped up to the plate in a big way because Stallone's hair is a painty jet black. So are his oddly plucked and shaped eyebrows. It's the most fascinating thing in the movie, really! Ventimiglia from Gilmore Girls and Heroes steps in as Rocky's estranged son. When I first heard this movie was being made I thought, Oh, so he's going to box, and Stallone will coach? But I was wrong. So wrong! OK, so the champ's still got a heart o' gold, but there's so much here to cringe at that it quickly transcends into a film for gluttons for punishment!