(Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham-Carter, Alan Rickman, Timothy Spall, et al / R / 107 mins / Dreamworks)
Overview: In this adaptation of the classic musical, Sweeney Todd (Johnny Depp) is a barber who is sent to prison for a crime he didn't commit. After his release years later, Sweeney opens up a new shop and plots revenge against the judge (Alan Rickman) who sent him behind bars. But, before he does, he practices his knife skills on unsuspecting customers who have their necks cut along with their hair. The bodies of his victims then fall into the possession of Sweeney's girlfriend, Mrs. Lovett (Helena Bonham Carter), who carves them into delicious meat pies that become the talk of the town.
Review: When you're really, really, really, really mad at someone, sometimes just singing an angry song about it isn't enough. You have to slash their throat with a straight razor. And to make sure you get them dead on the first try, you also have to practice on lots of inconsequential people first. Then make meat pies out of their corpses that you sell to unsuspecting, not usually cannibalistic, hungry people. Keep singing while you do this. In the end, your revenge will still leave a bad taste in your mouth.
So, what's the deal? Well, take the skin-carving-est moments from the Hostel series and then the darkest goth Edward Gorey moments you can think of, add mind-bendingly amazing Stephen Sondheim music (S.S. is the coolest, least Broadway-ish Broadway guy that ever was — the guy you like even if you hate Broadway stuff, like I do), toss in Depp and Bonham Carter dressed like singing ghouls, some cannibalism, camera-lens-spattered bloodlettings that would make Dario Argento wish he'd made a musical, and you have this amazing movie that really earns its R-rating. Merry Christmas, sickos.