'Do Or Die: Special Edition' [Blu-ray + Digital]
(Pat Morita, Erik Estrada, Dona Speir, et al / Blu-ray + Digital / R / (1991) 2019 / Mill Creek Entertainment)
Overview: A pair of female agents is targeted for elimination by an Asian criminal kingpin out for revenge.
The evil mastermind sends out an army of assassins with the same mission, to kill agents Donna and Nicole!
Blu-ray Verdict: Oh my! This movie is so bad that it is actual SO good at the same bloody time! 'Do Or Die' is one of the worst movies of all time, on a par with Plan 9, but Ed Wood didn't have the money these clowns have
And frankly, Ed's story is almost better. This one is so ridiculous, but magically works for what it fully intends to only be!
Ok, how about this for starters? For no reason you can figure out, you're on Hawaii and you're at an outdoor party for a children's charity. Someone out of nowhere approaches two girls sitting at this party to tell them there is someone waiting for them outside.
It is Pat Morita. He has his back to them. He tells them he knows they are high-level operatives for the US government and that they are responsible for ruining his business, and now he intends to kill them - but he's going to make a game out of it, and the game will start tomorrow!
With no further ado the two girls run off, pack their bags, get into some kind of trendy vehicle, and make it for the airport. They're not running from Pat Morita - they have never said if they know who he is - they're instead playing his game without question!
The romp continues through, among other places, a sandy airfield where so-called 'QSA' model airplanes are flown for an audience. Note that this demonstration has absolutely nothing to do with the story or the characters in it - it's just there, and then suddenly it's gone!
Every so often you cut to a new scene with a couple of poor white trash out of nowhere who are sitting around wherever they may be doing whatever they might be doing; and somewhere they have a small black plastic box with a short antenna and two colored lights on top (one red and one green).
And then the green one will start blinking and one of the characters will say "They're almost here!" and that's basically about that! How are these two girls being tracked? Does anyone know? Does anyone care?
The girls fly from Hawaii to the continental US, through Las Vegas, and then for no good reason end up the final 45 minutes of the movie in and around Shreveport, Louisiana.
It's brilliant. It's so bad it's good. This movie should be used in university film classes as a cookbook of how not to make a movie (albeit one that works on all known D-Movie levels, of course!).
Every scene where Estrada blows somebody up has to end with fifteen seconds on his white toothy grin! It's just all too much. And there is also a now classic scene where Estrada kills a bad guy with baseballs!
But perhaps one of the worst is when Estrada is having sex with the odd girl out in a swimming pool somewhere. Suddenly she starts ripping her hair back and forth, and of course there is a strong back light on her, and this creates a spectacular visual effect - but what does this have to do with the story or the characters?!
It's so bad you will laugh. And then after that, Estrada grabs the girl up in his arms, and the girl twists so her feet are away from the camera so she can make more fabulous visual effects by kicking her feet into the surface of the water. You get the picture so now buy the brand new Blu-ray! You won't be disappointed, trust me! This is a Widescreen Presentation (2.40:1) enhanced for 16x9 TVs and comes with the Special Features of:
Introduction by Director Andy Sidaris
Behind The Scenes Featurette
'Do Or Die' [Blu-ray + Digital] is out September 17th, 2019 via Mill Creek Entertainment.