'Robert the Doll'
(Megan Lockhurst, Lee Bane, Suzie Frances Garton, Jenny
Flynn Allen, et al / DVD / NR / 2015 / North Bank Entertainment)
Overview: In this chilling story based on real life events a family experience terrifying supernatural occurrences when their son acquires a vintage doll called Robert.
DVD Verdict: The movie 'Robert' is about a haunted doll that terrorizes a nice English family. Apparently, the movie is based on “the tragic real life events.” Do we believe it? Who cares? We just want to be scared. Unfortunately the 85 minutes of film are not frightening in the least!
In the opening scene a couple is recounting strange events that have been occurring; noises they hear at night, mysterious writing on the walls. They believe the house is haunted. An old woman listens quietly to their tale. She looks around dramatically, and reveals the house isn’t haunted, the doll is. The camera zooms in on a creepy, redheaded male doll whose head moves ever so slowly to look straight into the camera. Cheesy beginning.
Three years later, another family is living there: Mom, Dad and little Eugene. The same old lady is there as well; Agatha the caretaker. But, she is soon fired by the mom, Jen. As she is leaving, she gives the doll to the little boy, promising that Robert will protect him. As Agatha is leaving Jen attempts to apologize saying “I’m sorry.” Agatha exits with a threatening, “You will be.” Cue the spooky music.
The movie begins its downward spiral from here. The plot is predictable, boring even. Robert is a mischievous doll sneaking around causing havoc. He makes a mess in the kitchen, leaving behind tiny footprints. He destroys the mom’s painting by splashing red paint on it.
Eugene gets blamed of course. Mom doesn’t believe that the doll could be doing it. Not until she sees the word “DIE” written on her mirror in her lipstick. Robert is even holding it in his motionless hand. She tries to convince her husband but he understandably doesn’t believe her.
The new housekeeper and babysitter are the next victims of Robert. He pushes the housekeeper down the stairs sending her to the hospital. The babysitter upsets Robert so he chases her with a knife and kills her.
I can see the climax is close but I still find it difficult to stay awake. I painstakingly watch until the credits roll in disbelief that I wasted 85 minutes watching this!
This movie has many faults. There is nothing unique or fresh about the plot. The dialogue and acting are dreadful. The camera work is amateur. I will give it props for the scary doll; he is certainly unnerving to look at. Nonetheless, the only way to enjoy this movie is to be completely and utterly stoned. Then at least you could laugh hysterically at the attempt this movie made to be scary. This is a Widescreen Presentation (2:40.1) enhanced for 16x9 TVs.
Reviewed By: Michelle Richardson
'Robert the Doll' Trailer